Tillen Tirelessly worked his bow as he worked the enemy line. For every arrow that he let soar, an enemy soldier fell. Tillen had placed himself in the middle of the Arterian battle formation in hopes that he would be able to lend his aide where ever need and also so that he would be able to take care of any potential threats before they became major problems.
Tillen's right flank had been drawn out and was completely engulfed in the battle. His left flank was still holding but its numbers were thinning and was threatening to break. Tillen focused his arrows to that flank hopping to give enough support that they might hold, at least for a little while longer.
A commotion in the distance gave Tillen a moments pause. Tillen wasn't a veteran to battle but he figured he would know the usual din of battle. Men flying threw the air shouldn't be one of them. Tillen focused his sight and was instantly viewing the battle up close. An ogre. They had called upon an ogre. And a fairly big and robust one at that. The bigger the ogre, the better at killing they were. This was that potential problem. Though his sight let him see the ogre from his point, killing it from there was out of the question. He would have to work his way over to meet him.
Tillen was abruptly brought back to himself when an arrow clipped his bow string and just barely missed his face. This string magically grew back as Tillen replaced his bow on its spot on his back and located the origin his the arrow. His would be killer as a young archer with the grim look of determination on his face and was already pulling back his second arrow. Tillen reached into the small of his back and pulled forth his two small swords. The archer let loose his second arrow, again missing, thought this time because the the last second move of Tillen's head. The kid was a decent archer, though his aim a little high. Most likely because he tilted his head to far back, still not totally comfortable with the task at hand. He had potential. To bad he would never reach it. And it wouldn't be the fault of his teacher. Tillen was upon the archer in an instant. His lead sword swiping away the bow, his follow sword swiping away the throat.
Tillen tirelessly worked his bow as he worked the enemy line.(saying worked twice like that feels over used) For every arrow that he let soar, an enemy soldier fell. Tillen had placed himself in the middle of the Arterian battle formation in hopes that he would be able to lend his aide where ever need (feels like something is missing here) and also(would sound better without this “also”) so that he would be able to take care of any potential threats before they became major problems.
ReplyDeleteTillen's right flank had been drawn out and was completely engulfed in the battle. His left flank was still holding but its numbers were thinning and was threatening to break. Tillen focused his arrows to that flank hopping to give enough support that they might hold, at least for a little while longer.
A commotion in the distance gave Tillen a moments pause. Tillen(you use his name a lot when a “he” would work well too) wasn't a veteran to battle but he figured he would know the usual din of battle. Men flying threw the air shouldn't(this would sound better expanded to “should not” so it emphasizes more) be one of them. Tillen focused his sight and was instantly viewing the battle up close. An ogre. They had called upon an ogre. And a fairly big and robust one at that. The bigger the ogre, the better at killing they were. This was that potential problem. Though his sight let him see the ogre from his point, killing it from there was out of the question. He would have to work his way over to meet him.
Tillen was abruptly brought back to himself when an arrow clipped his bow string and just barely missed his face. This string magically(this doesn't sound very good, show it somehow) grew back as Tillen replaced(would sound better without the re) his bow on its spot on his back and located the origin his(?) the arrow. His would be killer as a young archer with the grim look of determination on his face and was already pulling back his second arrow.(needs rewording, sounds bad) Tillen reached into the small of his back and pulled forth his two small swords. The archer let loose his second arrow, again missing, thought(wrong word) this time because the(this area needs rewording) the last second move of Tillen's head. The kid was a decent archer, though his aim a little high. Most likely because he tilted his head to far back, still not totally comfortable with the task at hand. He had potential. To bad he would never reach it. And it wouldn't be the fault of his teacher. Tillen was upon the archer in an instant. His lead sword swiping away the bow, his follow sword swiping away the throat.